someone told me my life had so much drama i deserved my own TV show…

netflix never gave me a show, but here’s what really happened

i remember it like it was yesterday—i was at the stoplight at 71st and yale. my life was chaos. drama surrounded me. everywhere i went, it followed.

someone once told me i had so much drama that i deserved my own tv show. cue major eye roll. harsh, but not denying it’s probably accurate. crying on street corners or taking off on late-night drives to clear my head—and getting pulled over for speeding—probably didn’t help my case.

while i sat at the stoplight, i thought about who i was and who i wanted to become. i wanted to be like my mom—she’s the most incredible woman i’ve ever met.

she’s the epitome of a dreamer. she came from nothing, imagined a different life for herself, immigrated to the united states, gave her life to Jesus, and is now living the reality that was once only a vision in her imagination. she’s the strongest, most God-fearing, faith-filled woman i know. despite the hardships she’s encountered, she’s always kept the faith, believing that God would provide, heal, redeem, and restore. no matter how people have treated her, she’s never spoken ill of them. despite what unfolds around her, she’s never let circumstances shake her faith. she’s the hardest worker you’ll ever meet, wildly generous with everything she has, and the boldest evangelist—always ensuring Jesus is the center of her conversations.

i looked at my mom’s life—that’s what i wanted.

i wanted a life drenched in God’s blessings because i lived with integrity—fully devoted to God, building others up, being generous with what i have, and dreaming of the impossible. in the 60 seconds that the light was red, life became crystal clear.

if i wanted my life to look different, feel different, and be different, i needed to change. i needed to stop waiting for life to calm down and stop justifying the drama as "this is just what happens when you’re in your early 20s" and realize—

life is happening.

who i am today, the choices i make today—impact my tomorrow.

when the light turned green, i made a left turn and kept moving forward—both physically and symbolically. i’ve never been the same. that 60 seconds changed my life forever.

i started showing up differently in my life—doing my best to follow my mom’s example: dreaming, working hard for what i wanted, being generous with what i have, speaking and believing the best in people, and standing in confidence that God’s hand of blessing and favor is on my life.

twelve years later, i’m not the same person i was at that stoplight at 71st and yale.

i’m a completely different person—functioning out of love, joy, peace, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. i have more grace for myself and others. not to mention, i finally learned how to manage my emotions and not cry over the petty stuff.

i’m convinced that because i stopped long enough—60 seconds was enough time—to think about who i was and intentionally decide who i wanted to become, i set myself up to experience wins in life. i have been blessed beyond measure with the most faithful and loyal friends, have been given opportunities that have changed my life, and have slowly grown the strength, stamina, and character needed to hold and sustain the dreams inside of me.

you see, character matters.

if we want the life we dream about, we have to give ourselves permission to change, evolve, develop, and sharpen, in order to become the person capable of holding that dream.

in a culture where we honor personality tests, we can’t use our personalities as a crutch and excuse not to change.

trust me, i learned this the hard way.

i can’t tell you how many times i used my personality as an excuse for an outburst, saying, "this is my personality! this is how God made me!"

yes, God made me passionate—but God also tells us to exercise self-control.

thankfully, my dad was a strong and patient man. he was a true peacemaker, yet always put me in my place, corrected me, and pointed me to the Bible, saying, "you better go read your proverbs." (thanks, dad!)

it’s because of my dad’s leadership that i realized—if i wanted to live a life that got results, i needed to stop using my personality as a crutch and learn how to align it with the word of God while still honoring how He created me.

the truth is, for the most part, we all know what we’re doing—and how we can start changing to be a better version of ourselves. we’ve either heard others point it out a time or two (or 100), or we feel a ping of conviction.

at some point, we have to look at our lives and ask—do we like who we are? do we like how we’re showing up in our relationships? do we like how we’re showing up in our jobs? do we like how our futures are unfolding? if i keep going in this direction, will it get me to where i want to go?

if we evaluate and realize that in 10 years we don’t want to be living the life associated with how we’re living now—then we have to be bold enough to act quickly and take a hard left turn.

change is our decision. we have to choose to change. no one else can do it for us.

if we want our dreams to come true and see the impossible happen in our lives, we have to hold ourselves accountable to becoming the person who can sustain the dream.

years ago, when i was a nanny, i was so annoyed with God (i know, the audacity!). i had all these dreams and ideas and was frustrated that none of them were coming to pass, and here i was… nannying for $10 an hour.

as i was having an internal one-on-one with God, the little girl i was nannying started walking down the stairs, holding a bunch of crayons in her hands. one by one, the crayons started slipping out of her grasp. i went to help her and, with one scoop, picked up all the crayons in one hand and took them to the kitchen island so she could color while i made her dinner.

in that moment, the Holy Spirit spoke to me—"in the same way teagan’s hands are too small to hold all the crayons she was carrying, your character is not yet developed enough to hold all your dreams. if i gave you everything you are asking for now, they’d slip through your hands one by one because your character isn’t strong enough to hold or sustain them."

i’ve never forgotten that moment. throughout the years, it’s pushed me forward and encouraged me to take responsibility for my life and dreams.

God says over and over in His word that He wants to give us the desires of our hearts and make all our plans succeed. so, it’s not a matter of “if” our dreams will come true, but “when.”

and as much as we want to shift all the responsibility on God for the timeline, we also have a role. after all, we’re doing life in partnership with God.

if we aren’t taking ownership of who we are and our character, we’re inevitably going to delay our future. not because God doesn’t want to give us the fulfillment of our dreams, but because we’re not yet developed enough to hold and sustain what we’re asking for.

we see this concept throughout the Bible too—

remember joseph, the dreamer? it says in psalms 105:19, “until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested joseph’s character.”

another way you could say this—God refined or strengthened his character.

God seeded dreams inside joseph as a young boy, but those dreams still required his character to be strengthened and refined so that when joseph was promoted to places of influence, he was able to sustain those positions and fulfill his destiny.

if God took the time to refine joseph, don’t you think He’ll take His time to refine and strengthen you for the calling He has put on your life?

so, here’s my question:

what if the frustrations or delays you’re feeling right now in your dreams and career aren’t because God is withholding something from you? what if it’s because God wants to do something in you—strengthen you, develop you, refine you, and transform you so that you’re strong enough to hold every dream and blessing He has planned for you?

what if you shifted your perspective and instead of being frustrated that things aren’t moving, you took this season as an invitation to dig deep, examine your character, and take intentional steps to become the person God is calling you to be?

this process isn’t as intimidating as it sounds, i promise.

you don’t have to spend hours thinking about it—after all, look at my story, i took 60 seconds at a stoplight in oklahoma.

throughout the Bible, we are told to become imitators of Christ. in 1 thessalonians 1:2-6, it talks about paying careful attention to the way people live their lives in honor of God and determining to live that way ourselves. then it says, “in imitating us, you imitated the Master.”

our goal is to imitate Jesus. but sometimes, it’s helpful to have someone we can follow as an example. for me, it’s my mom—i see her wholeheartedly following Jesus, and how she responds to everyday situations reminds me of how i ought to show up and respond.

so, find someone—whether you know them personally or admire them from a distance—and let them be your role model, someone you emulate. you don’t have to change your life overnight; after all, you won’t. but, little by little, work on developing your character and making choices that honor your future and the dreams God has seeded inside of you.

because your character is what’s going to determine your future.

and friend, your future is too important to stay the same.

one day, i promise, you’ll look back at who you used to be and barely recognize that person. because in choosing humility, in embracing the process, you didn’t just transform—you stepped fully into the person you were always called to be and are walking in the fulfillment of dreams and destiny.

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here are 3 questions to help you dig deeper:

1. if i keep living the way i’m living now, will it get me to where i want to go?

2. who do i admire and want to emulate?

3. where is there room to refine my character to become more like Jesus?