i thought i'd be married by 25. that clearly didn’t happen, but here's what did...
spoiler: turns out, missing my deadline was the best thing that could’ve happened
this title has been in my head for a couple of days. i don’t know why, but i can only take it as a little nudge to write.
before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight… okay, a couple of things: this is not a relationship or singleness post. honestly, those topics make me low-key cringe. don’t ask me why. i have no good explanation. but i do have a lot of thoughts on the topic that, maybe one day, i’ll write about under my alter ego’s name. but today… is not that day.
this is about something much bigger: timelines.
as a kid, i always wanted to be just like my mom. i wanted to have a story that echoed hers. she got married when she was twenty-five, so naturally—that’s what i wanted too. i was convinced it was going to happen because it happened for her.
before my sister got married, i remember my mom sitting me down and telling me that her boyfriend was going to propose.
i was on the cusp of twenty-five, and while i was happy for my sister, i was also disappointed that it wasn’t happening for me. i wasn’t anywhere near it. no prospects, no leads, and cold calling potentials on the internet seemed less than appealing.
twenty-five came and left, and so did twenty-six…
twenty-seven…
twenty-eight…
and, at this point, i thought to myself, “wow, i’m really waiting it out.”
by the time i got to 30, i had been a bridesmaid seventeen times and had spent a small fortune that, let’s be honest, i would have rather put toward a nice-sized italian elopement of my own rather than another taffeta dress from david’s bridal that is stuffed in a closet somewhere.
none of this was matching up with my timeline and what i wanted.
i couldn’t understand why life wasn’t unfolding for me like it was for all my friends.
i have a little pen pal, barbara, who is a kindred spirit and around my mom’s age. occasionally, barbara would write me and encourage me—sharing with me her own story—of how she was also the girl who was always the bridesmaid and got married later than all her friends. but God used the time she was single to build the foundation for her work—so that when she met her husband, her work was already established, and he could come alongside her as a partner to help her follow through with the assignment she’d been given. her work needed to be established first in order for that to happen.
barbara’s story and letters have always brought peace to me because they are a reminder that God is a full-picture God.
God has a bird's-eye view of everything—our life, our destiny, how it impacts other people’s futures, and what’s up ahead.
when we find ourselves in the waiting rooms of life, it’s not because God doesn’t want to fulfill our heart’s desires or because He’s scrambling in heaven trying to figure out how to answer our prayers. the wait is always purposeful—it’s about perfect timing. it’s about how everything is going to fit together into a masterfully written story. it’s about the details that are carefully woven together.
in romans 8:18-21, it talks about how “the created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. everything in creation is more or less being held back. God reins it in until creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead.”
this scripture is evidence—
what we hope for exists. it’s not some lofty idea or wish—but it’s being held back until EVERYTHING is ready to be released.
as humans, we are conditioned to plan—and, in some regards, it’s essential to be productive. we plan our days and schedule appointments and hangouts in our calendars. we plan our work schedules and timelines for when we want to launch new products, services, and campaigns. we plan our summers and create itineraries for our european holidays.
so, it’s only natural—then, when it comes to our dreams and desires—that we also have a timeline.
but here’s the issue: our view is limited. we don’t see what’s up ahead. we don’t see why being somewhere, or being in a season, is important—not just for our story but for someone else’s—because of what we are supposed to do, receive, or pass on.
we don’t see how the wait is developing, refining, and, ultimately, transforming us for what is up ahead—so that we can become the person of faith, strength, and character who is capable of holding and sustaining the dream.
you see, the wait is never an accident—it’s always purposeful.
i can look back at my life and see how my original timeline would have rushed things that God wanted me to do, see, experience, pass on, and receive. the wait allowed me to—
chase after dreams and start a movement that brought female entrepreneurs together for weekend experiences in cities across the nation
host my dream conference in brooklyn, complete with disco balls and midnight champagne toasts
work with women in the red-light districts of southeast asia and south america
be in cities, places, and rooms that connected me to opportunities and people who have become key players in my life and future
strengthen my faith and deepen my relationship with God
speak life and encouragement to others in the waiting room, inspiring them to stay in faith for what they wanted, regardless of their current circumstances
travel the world, collect memories that will last a lifetime, and establish divine friendships
develop my character and solidify the vision i have for my future
the wait, and the “delay” in my timeline, allowed me to witness the importance of a divine partnership—not just a marriage.
anyone can have a marriage—you can go on married at first sight or love is blind and find someone to marry within weeks. but divine partnerships are rare—and that’s what my parents had.
my whole life, i’ve admired my parents' marriage. but in 2021, when my mom was fighting for her life, i saw something even deeper—what a divine partnership truly looks like. it wasn’t just about love or commitment, but about selfless sacrifice and unwavering faith. i watched my dad take care of her—never leaving her side, embodying the vows they made in a way that few get to witness.
when abuelita got sick and was hospitalized, and my mom wasn’t well enough to leave her bed, my dad stepped in and did everything my mom would have done. she told him, “honey, thank you for taking care of my mom,” and he responded, “i do it because i love you.” but it was so much more than that—it was love in action, driven by faith and a shared devotion to God and each other.
my abuelita went to heaven that summer, and just a few months later, my dad received a terminal diagnosis. once again, i witnessed divine partnership in action as i watched my mom fight for my dad’s life, both physically and spiritually. she stood in faith for his miracle, never leaving his side. i listened to her pace the floor in their room, praying with the spirit of a warrior.
after witnessing this—everything changed for me.
the vision was no longer about getting married just to avoid being a third wheel, but to experience a divine partnership. the wait enhanced my vision, giving me something better to hold onto in faith.
and, most importantly, i see how God’s timeline was a gift—allowing me to soak up every minute with my dad before he unexpectedly went to heaven.
had life gone according to my timeline, i would have missed out on so many moments with my dad that have become my most cherished memories.
i would have missed out on coming home from a workout, climbing to the top of the stairs to his office, and laying on the floor talking about my latest idea.
i would have missed out on talking with him during our lunch breaks while we grilled burgers or made chicken salads.
i would have missed out on spending every thursday night with him in his office, listening to my podcast, and him interjecting with stories from his life or what God was teaching him.
i would have missed out on sitting on the back porch drinking iced coffees on a hot summer day.
i would have missed out on being there in the middle of the night to pray with him after his diagnosis.
there are a million more moments that i could describe and recount that i’m thankful i didn’t miss out on. but, had life unfolded the way i wanted, according to the timeline i created, i would have missed out on so much.
i see now, as frustrating as it’s been at times that the timeline of my life is vastly different than everyone else’s, that my timeline is God-ordained.
it’s easy to look around and compare your timeline to everyone else’s, wondering why things haven’t fallen into place for you the way they have for others. but comparison is a trap. we each have a unique journey, divinely orchestrated by God, and comparing your path to someone else’s will only lead to frustration and doubt. remember, their timeline is not your timeline, and God’s plans for you are specifically tailored to your life. trust that what’s meant for you won’t pass you by—and it will arrive at the perfect moment.
the wait isn’t denying you of a dream. while, at times, it may not feel like it—it’s a gift—so that you can experience life in perfect timing.
nearly a decade ago, i listened to someone share their testimony about infertility and how they stood firm in faith, trusting God’s word as they waited to become parents. though their family didn’t grow on their timeline, God followed through on His promise. they had a beautiful baby girl—jet black hair and piercing blue eyes, just as they had prayed for. God fulfilled His promise, and in the waiting, on His perfect timeline, He strengthened their faith and used their story to pass on hope to others.
their story has always served as a reminder that when it comes to the fulfillment of dreams and desires, it’s not a matter of “if,” but “when.”
in 2 peter 3:8-9, it says, “with God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you…”
in another version, it says, “His ‘delay’ reveals His loving patience towards you.”
i don’t know what you’re waiting on, but if you feel frustrated with the timeline of your life, i want to remind you: God loves you. His plan is to bless you beyond your expectations.
“for i know the plans i have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” — jeremiah 29:11
God is the giver of good things; He’s not sitting in heaven withholding blessings to frustrate or punish you.
He sees the details you can’t—the way your story will weave into the greater tapestry of history and touch the lives of others. He sees how your life can become a masterpiece that reflects His goodness and faithfulness. as you trust Him and place your faith in His timing, you can be confident that He will fulfill His promises and bring about your blessings in ways more beautiful than you imagined. over and over again, He assures us that if we delight ourselves in Him and trust Him, He will fulfill the desires of our hearts.
so, if you find yourself waiting—choose to let go of your frustration.
release your timeline—it’s built on limited understanding, tied to a concept of time that heaven is not confined by.
heaven doesn’t run on a 24-hour clock or a 365-day calendar. remember? one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day.
faith doesn’t operate on timelines.
instead, faith stands firm on God’s word, anchored in His promises, pulling them into reality—not concerned with time, but confident that the fulfillment of dreams and desires will be divinely timed, sweeter and more perfect than you could ever expect or imagine.
when you surrender your timeline and trust God, He’ll guarantee that your life will be more beautiful than you could ever expect.
so, if i can give you some advice:
let go of your timeline
trust God
rejoice always, even in the waiting
the wait is temporary
don’t let “delayed” timelines steal your faith or diminish your vision
more is happening than meets the eye
lean into God—allow Him to work in and through you during the wait
look for the good unfolding and celebrate it
keep hope alive
fasten your faith to God’s promises
as my dad said before he went to heaven, “the future is bright.” even in the unknown and “delayed” timelines, i’m confident—we can stand on that. God is good, and one day, you’ll see how His divine timing was a gift that you couldn’t have planned better yourself.