chatgpt told me to stop pretending everything was fine
okay, let’s be real. God told me some things first. but, you know... we're here for dramatic effect...
i sat there in the dark, telling chatgpt the history of my career—from being a psych major to working for a non-profit. i shared how i learned graphic design and why i became a web designer. i talked about how i built brands and businesses, and pivoted when things no longer served me, my lifestyle, or aligned with the trajectory i saw for myself.
if you look at my life story, i’ve always been good at pivoting.
i’ve always known when it was time, and how to move into unfamiliar spaces.
but somewhere along the way, probably after the pandemic and grieving the loss of my dad, i lost some of that tenacity.
actually, scratch that… that’s not even true. the tenacity is still there. i’m about to pivot—watch me.
but somewhere, i got comfortable. maybe it wasn’t comfort, but survival. i was grieving, struggling to stay afloat... or even alive.
and in case you didn’t know, pivoting isn’t exactly top of mind when you’re fighting for your well-being.
lately, though, as healing has taken place in my life, things aren’t working like they used to.
what was easy now feels hard.
what used to create growth now feels like it’s sending me into oblivion.
what once worked now feels like it’s not working.
it’s been easy to blame “this economy,” but if i’m truthful, it’s not the economy.
it’s like the well has dried up, and God is pushing me out of spaces and identities i’ve been holding onto because i’m no longer supposed to camp out here.
i can say this with confidence because this has happened before and led to a pivot. it’s almost “miraculous” how things have dried up—making staying here feel like ignorance rather than resilience.
there’s been confirmation after confirmation, and the biggest one of all: God told me in the shower, while praying, that it was time to start introducing myself differently.
so, yeah, i’m confident about the pivot(s) that are about to happen.
as a theology student, i learned to read the Bible looking for repeated themes. ever since, i’ve done the same in my own life—what keeps popping up? what ideas, stories, verses, words?
for me, the repeated themes i’ve noticed only confirm it: a pivot is required to move to the next level.
before i share these themes, let me say they haven’t been cozy (lol). they’ve been hard to swallow, like someone holding up a squeaky clean mirror to your face and forcing you to confront some things.
so for the curious, here they are:
identity
stripping away ego
taking ownership
exiting vs entering seasons
closing loops
art vs content (meaning vs noise)
rainbows of faithfulness
king david
if these repeated themes weren’t enough, my friend craig from daily prophetic sent out an email that hit HARD, touching on several of these. as i read his email, i kept nodding my head! it’s everything i’ve been feeling, wrestling with, thinking, and having conversations with friends about over the last few months. woven throughout his email were words, phrases, and stories that i felt God has been pointing out to me too—
the whole thing felt like a giant freeway sign, right before the underpass, flashing “it’s time to pivot.”
he wrote:
“just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean that you should keep doing it forever.
even if it has brought you attention, success, promotion, or praise for others.
even if that’s what other people expect you to do.
or if there’s a pressure for you to keep ‘performing’.
there comes a point where the grace lifts on that aspect of your calling and it’s time to move on to new roles, assignments, even a new identity.
it doesn’t mean you’re finished.
or that you’re no longer called by God.
or that His anointing are no longer upon you
it just means that season of your life is over.
and God has something new for you to step into.
you’re still anointed.
just not for that.”
i finished reading this while sitting in the parking lot, about to go into the hair salon for my appointment that i was twenty minutes late for because i was on a prayer walk, venting to God about all of this. i rushed into heather’s salon and said, “YOU HAVE TO READ THE DAILY PROPHETIC TODAY! IT WAS SO GOOD.” we re-read it together, saying “i resonate” throughout.
as i sat there, getting my hair done, i told heather, “you know, we can cry out to God all day, asking for a breakthrough, but sometimes we’re blocking it by not being willing to pivot—by not letting go of what we had, what we were known for, and grabbing onto new things.”
i don’t know what your prayers look like lately, but monday morning, before i met heather, i walked the trails behind my house and said, “God, i’m tired of this.”
but here's the thing:
i can be tired of 'this'—the lack of growth and struggle—but until i follow through, i'm blocking myself from the blessing. it’s not God withholding, it’s me not taking action.
let’s be real: sometimes we’re distracted, moving so fast with all the noise, that we miss the repeated themes trying to speak to us. sometimes, we make excuses instead of owning our own shortcomings. and sometimes, our egos stand in the way—fear of what people will think if we pivot. will they think we failed? that we weren’t strong enough?
if we want immeasurably more, we can’t let distractions, excuses, or ego stand in our way. we have to be flexible. the moment we realize we’re at a dead-end, it’s our responsibility to take action and pivot.
and here’s the good news: we don’t have to make it up. God will always tell us. He’s always direct and will make sure we know the next move with confidence.
there’s more to say, but I promised my niece I’d take her to the zoo, so I’ll end here.
but i want you to reflect on this:
God moves in waves.
i don’t think i’m an isolated experience in this season. throughout life, i’ve found that when i’m going through something, there’s always a whole crew of people experiencing it too.
maybe lately, you’ve felt restless and frustrated.
maybe it feels like you’re on a treadmill, going nowhere.
i want you to pause.
be still.
stop running through to-do lists, and take a moment to listen.
God will speak, but we have to quiet ourselves to hear.
go for a walk, journal, take a drive in silence—
invite the Holy Spirit to reveal the repeated themes in your life and the next move.
if you give God space, He’ll move. He always does.
as for me, i’m going to do what i’ve known i needed to do for months—and thank God for His patience with me, because i’ve procrastinated this pivot. my pivot feels uncomfortable on so many levels and definitely requires humility in some ways, but i know it will set me up to experience my heart’s deepest desires.
and when it’s all said and done, i’ll see God’s faithfulness like a vibrant rainbow in my life—undeniable and beautiful.
xx lindsey eryn
p.s. also, in case you’re wondering, ChatGPT called me out, saying i’ve been “hiding your relationship power behind what’s ‘palatable’”—sometimes posting inspirational things instead of letting people see the full weight of my perspective. so yeah, that’s ego and identity. God used AI to show me repeated themes—how’s that for irony?
so, hold me accountable. let’s strip back the ego together and just tell it how it is.
because, more than anything, i want to find breakthrough for me and for you.
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